Tears!!!

My youngest child, a little boy who wants to be a scientist when he grows up, turns five tomorrow.  And I keep crying about it.  I was SO ready to be done with the newborn crying and the toddler tantrums and the potty training and the sleepless nights and suddenly, it's here and I'm NOT READY.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - after surviving raising three children from baby-dom to school age, I want to go back knowing what I know now and do it again so I can really savor it, drink it in, and enjoy all of it instead of freaking out about a lot of it.  Don't you hate it when people with grown children tell you over and over, "It goes so fast!".  Well, I'm here to tell you as a young mother with still-young children, it's true.  All the stressful moments of having a baby in a highchair in a restaurant and three kids who needed to be in carts at the same time at Target seem like distant dreams I once had.

The crying started when I signed Adam up for Kindergarten in February and continued when I got the last statement from Adam's preschool.  I should have been rejoicing about not having to pay the monthly bill for preschool anymore but instead my eyes welled up and I thought about how I'll never again take my own child's little hand and guide them into a school room with tiny tables and chairs and toilets that are about 3 inches from the ground.

I started participating in a family blog around the time Adam was born and shortly thereafter started writing Stewart Snippets.  All of my photos from years of blogging are saved behind the scenes here (I hope!)...let's see what I can dig up:

Here's Adam in preschool last year

Here's Adam with his precious great-grandma

A fresh newborn!

Not so sure about this big sister and big brother business!

I now declare May 15, 2013 national "Hug your Baby" day!!  Quick, snuggle them while they're tiny because 5 year old snuggles are awesome but they're just not the same.

I love you, Adam!!!  Happy 5th Birthday!!!

Been away for a while...

I've been extra, uber busy the past four months or so but it's high time to check in with the blogosphere.  Especially because Adam had a checkup recently.  And it was a-ma-zing!  I absolutely love Dr. B.  He was practically dancing around the exam room at the University of Minnesota, singing out to me that Adam had the most lovely looking optic nerves he'd seen in a while (?!).  Adam's vision has improved and there are no signs of glaucoma or any other issues.  He needs a new prescription but not desperately so we'll wait until insurance will cover it in June at which time we'll let him pick out new frames, too.

The cause of my uber busyness is a some new business I've gotten myself into.  I couldn't just stop at fostering dogs....instead I decided to form my own non-profit corporation.  I launched Diamonds in the Ruff (www.diamondsintheruffmn.org) in February of this year and it's going amazingly well.  I've made tons of new friends and contacts, am currently 501(c)(3)-pending, and have helped SIX wonderful dogs so far:

Shadow

Asscher

Solitaire

Daisy

Clarity

Joey

Running my own business in addition to working 32 hours a week in addition to being a full time mom has been extremely time consuming, stressful, harrying, and incredibly fulfilling and wonderful and I feel a little like an addict.  While fostering a dog, I long for the days when I can sleep in and not worry about how best to work with any issues and why hardly anyone seems to be inquiring about said dog.  Yet the minute someone is adopted out, I'm on the Internet searching for the next dog to help.  It's the best kind of crack, I guess.

I have loved this year of school.  Having Max in second grade, Ryann in first grade, and Adam in his last year of preschool has been super fun.  All of them are at great ages/stages.  They all eat pretty much like normal people, sleep like normal people, joke like normal people, tell stories like normal people, listen like normal people (sort of) and are usually very well behaved (usually).  The days of all four of us crying in the mornings while trying to get ready to leave the house seem so distant now.

A couple things I'd like to remember about this time in our lives are:

1. Adam is starting to enunciate his th's, l's, and r's and they don't all sound like w's anymore (happy and sad about this)
2. Adam LOVES preschool and for some reason, LOVES the receptionist at the church that houses his preschool.  He likes to make her special cards during school and drop them off for her as we're leaving the building.
3. Ryann is turning into a mini-woman.  She tells me about the excitement and drama of the day and shares things she's learned.  I am so blessed to have a daughter.
4. Max is growing up too and has started using words like "boss" and "cra-cra".  Teenager-dom seems right around the corner (yikes!).

My first guest blogger!

I have a new friend in the blogosphere.  Her name is Heather and she is a miracle.  She and I are similar in that we use our blogs to reach out and share our medical "horror" stories in the hope of helping others who may find themselves or their loved ones in similar situations (see my posts re: my son Adam and his cataracts) Here is her guest blog post for Stewart Snippets:

Find the Good: My Cancer Story

You may come to a point where your life completely changes. At the age of 36, I came to that point, one where I felt the whole spectrum of human emotion - from being overjoyed to absolute sadness. The happiness came on August 4, 2005; the day that my daughter Lily was born. That day - my husband and I - were as happy as we'd ever been. This moment was shared with everyone that we loved - both friends and family. Unfortunately, this feeling didn't last too long.

About a month after Lily was born, I went back to work. It was then I knew something wasn't right. I didn't have energy, and I started losing about 6 pounds per week. This is generally common with new mothers, but deep in my heart, I still felt as if there was a deeper, more serious issue. Unfortunately, I was correct in my thinking.

My doctor subjected me to a battery of tests, and just 3 1/2 months after Lily was born, I was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma. This type of cancer lives in the lining of the lung, and is contracted by asbestos exposure. Without my knowledge, I had become exposed to asbestos as a child. My doctor informed me that, if I were to refused treatment, I would only have 15 months to live.

The news absolutely flattened me. I could only think of my daughter, Lily. I couldn't fathom what my family would do without me. It was then we made the decision to do everything that we could possibly do to eliminate this. We took the most aggressive form of treatment available, and on we charted off to Boston, where on February 2nd 2006, they performed a procedure called an extrapleural pneumonectomy. In this procedure, they removed the entirety of my left lung, along with all it’s surrounding tissue. I spent 18 days in the hospital. Two months later, I started radiation and chemotherapy treatment. While it was difficult, I tried to be the best possible parent throughout this troubling time.

While I was undergoing treatment, Lily flew to my parents house in South Dakota. Fortunately, there were a plethora of fantastic friends and family who helped care for her. I'll never be able to express my gratitude for this, as they are a significant reason I got through treatment. I may have missed a lot of firsts, but there was something comforting in knowing that she was in the best possible hands.

I am happy to say now that my family made it through that awful time in our lives and I am now cancer free. I go back to Boston every 6 months for new scans. Each new scan is an anxiety ridden time for me, but it also reminds me to cherish each and every day.

And as bad as cancer is, there was definitely some good in it. My family - including my beautiful Lily - gave me a reason to fight. My humble advice to any cancer sufferers is to find the good in the situation, as some most definitely exists.

 

 

  
You can read more about Heather and her story at:
http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/heather/

This one needs to be saved for the teenage years

For the first time out of any holiday, any child, any year so far one of our lovely children took it upon themselves to create gifts for their family members without any prompting from the parental units.  I also doubt there was much prompting from school since the word on the street is that our school district has "banned" Valentine's Day and it was "School Spirit - Crazy Hair Day" on February 14th instead.  This way no one was offended (offended by V Day?!) and no one would feel unincluded.  Whatever.

Anyway...on to the fun, sweet, funny topic du jour...our FIRST VALENTINE made with love by Ryann:

I'm not sure why it's a broken heart, maybe it seemed more dramatic which is Ryann's style

You're darn tootin' I'll be whippin' this baby out when Ryann is 14 and screaming "I HAET YOU!!!!!" in my face.

Ryann also made a joint Valentine for Max and Adam and one for Zoe.  I don't think Shadow is the kids' favorite foster dog so he didn't make the Valentine cut.  He's a lovely dog but pesters everyone smaller than him to death....and eats their stuff.

365+1 Project *fail*

So I totally petered out on taking a photo every day but I'm proud I made it for almost 9 months!  According to my most recent 365+1 post, the last photo I shared was from 8/21/12.  I think I was still trying to get a shot a day for a while after that so I'll try to wrap up the last half of the year right quick:

Day 200 (8/22/12):

Buzz in the bottom bunk

 Day 201 (8/23/12):

A desperation shot of my jeans as I undressed for bed

 Day 202 (8/24/12):

The results of a crystal making kit

 Day 203 (8/25/12):

My radiantly pregnant sister at the baby shower our sister and I threw for her

Day 204 (8/26/12):  MISSED

Day 205 (8/27/12):

I don't even remember what this project was for or about...

Day 206 (8/28/12): MISS

Day 207 (8/29/12):

A buddy on his new bike

Day 208 (8/30/12): MISS

Day 209 (8/31/12):

Molly who was hunting for a new home at the time

Day 210 (9/1/12):

Fun at the State Fair

Day 211 (9/2/12): MISS

Day 212 (9/3/12): MISS

Day 213 (9/4/12):

Max and Ryann's first day of school

 Day 214 (9/5/12):

This photo cracks me up because we were trying to take cute photos of kittens that needed adoption and this kitten meowed right when I was going to take the photo and instead of looking adorably adoptable, he looks crazy-evil

After this, my photo taking did not seem to be geared towards the 365+1 Project.  Instead, I was using my camera when I felt I wanted to.  And I don't have the patience to try to catch another two months up.  Instead, I'll share a few of my favorites I snapped between the beginning of September and now:

Foster Dogs

I just made the decision this July to start fostering rescue dogs.  Since then, we've housed NINE different dogs.  Some lived with us for a few days, some a few weeks, some went to their forever homes, some moved on to or back to different foster homes.  Each one holds a special placed in all our hearts and I will be forever grateful for this experience.

Lady was our first foster and I cried the day after she was adopted.  She was the perfect first foster.

Max was an amazing dog and was only with us a few days before he got adopted.  I still think of his lovely jug head and what it felt like to pet it!

Molly was a beautiful, sweet girl who ended up with a wonderful home with a young man in St. Paul.  Last I heard she was a perfect companion :)

Ryann fell deeply in love with Perdy and I think the feeling was mutual.  Perdy was the hardest for Ryann to let go.  She was a sweet, snuggly, good-natured little Chihuahua girl!

Polly stayed with us while her regular foster was on vacation.  She was the easiest foster we've ever had because her greatest love in life was to lie outside, by herself under the big maple tree, in the sun, all day long!

Anna was our first foray into the world of pitbulls and she couldn't have been a better representation.  She was sweet, soft, and ladylike.  She was a joy to foster.

Barney was our next beautiful pit mix.  He was young - about a year old and FULL of energy.  Honestly, he's been our toughest foster so far.  He needed constant watching or he'd be bulldozing everything that got in his way and eating everything that caught his fancy.  But he ended up with the perfect home for him with a lovely family in Minneapolis.

Sweet Stu who loved to lie around on comfy blankets was only with us for a while and is now in foster care with a brand new foster.  He has a couple people interested in him so say your prayers for him that he'll find the right, great home!

Nicki is another beautiful soul who has captured my heart.  She is calm and gentle and ladylike and although she's only been with us for about 24 hours, I am smitten!